End of an Era

Well, it is finally upon me. The day has come when my son has made the choice I dread. Given the choice of "want to snuggle with mommy or get right in your crib?" His reply is "git in my kib." My days of rocking my son to sleep are very very limited. Now they will be based on his whims, and soon he will completely done with rocking.

I knew this day was coming. It came even earlier with my first snuggle bug. Jacob is going to be 3 on Saturday. Shannon was 2 when she began arching her back and pointing to her crib when I would sit down to rock her.

We always talk about how fast these days go, when our children are small. I have done my best to heed these words of wisdom and treasure every snuggle, every moment in a rocking chair with my child's head resting just below my shoulder. And still I find myself with tears in my eyes as I write this. In 9 days time my five year old daughter will be climbing on a school bus and going to all day Kindergarten.

I have always tried to keep a right perspective on raising children. It will occupy about 20 years of my life. If I live to be 80, that is only one quarter of my days spent focused upon raising my kids, and there are many other ways of living and being that God calls me to, in addition to being a parent. My true identity is found in Christ, and my identity as a mother is one aspect of who God has called me to be.

But no matter how much perspective I try to claim, there is no denying the special sacredness that comes with being a mother of young children.

Virtues of an Inflatable Pool

I have a confession to make: I am a swimming pool snob. I was raised in a planned community of dozens of housing developments, served by seven fabulous outdoor swimming pools. These were complete with concrete decks, chairs, bath houses, vending machines, and regular visits from the ice cream trucks. I spent my summers walking to one of the 2 pools nearest my home, and later bicycling to wherever my friends were meeting. I was playing in swimming pools that were all competitive length pools with diving boards, etc. One was even an Olympic length across. Later, as a teenager, I spent my summer life guarding and coaching a swim team.

I learned many valuable lessons from these summers and I have lots of very happy memories. I wouldn't change it.

But, this has also had a few negative consequences. One is that I have poor tolerance for a cloudy or poorly maintained swimming pool- public or private. The other is that I greatly prefer large, public sized pools to back yard pools, because in my mind, these are the only ones that are any fun. Isn't this awful? On top of this, I am serving in a county with no similar services. Even the YMCA has only an indoor pool.

So I have been adjusting to life without a swimming pool to which I am accustomed. And guess what I have discovered? The virtues of an inflatable back yard swimming pool.

As I write this, my children, ages 5 and 3, are playing happily and safely in an inflatable pool in my back yard. There are several advantages to this situation:
1. They can run all they want to and we don't have to tell them to stop
2. The water is nice and cold on a HOT summer day- it comes from our well and has not been sitting in the pool all summer
3. It is nice and clean- it 's easy to maintain without any chemicals!
4. I don't have to put on a bathing suit if I don't want to
5. If I do put on a suit, I don't have to be seen by anyone
6. The kids have fun jumping out of the pool, onto the swing set, and back again
7. The kids can leap and splash and not bother anyone else.
8. Inflatable = cheap (like $20 on sale cheap)
9. When the kids get tired, they can come right in, eat lunch, take a nap, whatever. And they get good and tired!
10. No real risk of drowning (slight, slight)... the adult on duty can do other things like hang out laundry or even sit in the AC and watch out the window.

So I say hooray for no access to a large swimming pool and the invention of the inflatable back yard pool. I think life really is a lot simpler than I let it be sometimes.

Vacation and Harry Potter

I am home now from a week in South Bethany beach. The weather was almost all wonderful, and it was so great to relax. A week in South Bethany, with our family who generously host us, is always a week full of sand, sun, games, delicious food, and good conversation. What a blessing.

For me, it was also a week full of reading Harry Potter. I re-read the 5th and 6th books in the series in preparation for the new release. I have not typically been much of a re-reader, but I found that I really enjoyed it. Perhaps my reading habits will change a bit.

I finished the final book in the series last night. It was excellent. I was talking with a friend here in church, and she mentioned that there have been several local folks writing into the newspaper proclaiming that Rowling is going to hell, and generally decrying Harry Potter.

(Note: while I am not giving away the ending here, I am commenting on the themes, which could give you some pretty good guesses. If you have not yet read the book and plan to, you may not want to read the following paragraphs.)

I find this positively baffling. My suspicion (verified by some experience) is that many folks who "oppose" Harry Potter have not read any of the books. The series is full of Christian themes. These include serving others, sacrificing for the greater good, eschewing materialism, caring most about relationships with others, being willing to lay down your life for your friends, and battling sin and evil. In this last book, the references to the afterlife in heaven as well as sacrificial death are especially strong. Willingly dying so that others may live is at the heart of the gospel...there is no gospel without it. This theme is also at the heart of the Harry Potter book. There is no Harry Potter without it.

My befuddlement increases when I wonder why The Lord of the Rings and the Chronicles of Narnia (also chock full of Christian themes) get embraced by most Christians, while Harry Potter is shunned by so many. My fear is it is because too many of us are too easily led. If media hype and some key Christian voices give their blessing, it must be OK. If the opposite occurs, it must be bad.

At the heart of the Christian Reformation, which flowed out of the Enlightenment, was a rejection of the Church thinking for people. The Reformation championed several important ideas, two of which I find relevant now. First is reading the Scripture for oneself (sola scriptura) which says that Scripture is the foundation of Christian interpretation, and should be read and interpreted by the faithful in their native language. Second, there is the priesthood of all believers which says that we all have a direct line to the Spirit, no intermediate priest required.

If Protestants (those Christians who are not Roman Catholic or Eastern Orthodox) are to remain faithful to who we are, then we must take seriously our identity as people who study and discern the will of God together, believing the Holy Spirit is guiding us if we study in faith together. To be true to who we are, we must study the Scripture ourselves (together in community and alone...not just alone), and use our God given reason, experience, and our tradition, to come to conclusions. Simply taking the word of another without our own study and reflection does not bring us closer to God or into clearer understanding.

I think Christians have an opportunity to use Harry Potter as a way to study, grow, and reach out. It saddens me to think it will instead be used as an opportunity to condemn, shun, and generally turn people away from the love of Christ.

Nice home Mommy

My almost three years old son Jacob has been making real strides in talking. He has been speech delayed, and this week the speech therapist was positively delighted with his progress after just 2 weeks time.

Some recent highlights of his learning to talk have included:
1. saying "bye bye my home" whenever Daddy pulls out of the driveway with the kids
2. spontaneously saying "nice day" after a fun day that concluded with dinner at his grandparents' home
3. receiving his Dad's compliment on how good he looked in his new Blue Rocks baseball cap by saying "oh yeah baby" (as he hears Emeril on FoodTV!)
4. and this morning, coming up with "nice home, Mommy" which he said several times this morning.

It is a nice home. We are blessed to live here. As I begin my fifth year of service in Chesapeake City, I can feel my roots growing stronger and deeper. I have now served here longer than any other church family. I keep telling folks that I hope to make it to double digits in number of years served.

I often hear God through repetition. When one theme presents itself multiple times from various sources, I try to pay attention. Lately, the idea of loving wherever I am, wholeheartedly, because God is here, has been speaking to my heart.

And so I say with my son Jacob: Nice home.

Perspective on Civil Rights

This week I spent a week at Camp Pecometh, our Christian Camp in the Conference. I worked hard to try to get Middle School kids to study the Bible without falling asleep. For the most part, they were awake.

On Wednesday, the passage for the day was from the Sermon on the Plain in Luke 6. It is the passage where Jesus talks about loving your enemies, blessing those who curse you... one of the hard ones. One girl literally exclaimed out loud as she was reading. (She was awake!) It is shocking stuff to those who have never read it before.

Naturally, my attempt to keep them awake involved trying to relate the Scripture to every day life. The Campers were a fairly diverse lot; since the Civil Rights movement had this text at the backbone of the movement, I figured this was the way to go.

For the majority of kids, the Civil Rights movement was as relevant as WW2! I was shocked. You would have thought this was arcane history I was referring to. They tried valiantly to recall some details. Mostly, they succeeded in remembering Rosa Park and the bus boycott. Once that was on the table, the march on Washington came to mind. Then sometimes, they would know about the marches, beatings, fire hoses, and jail cells. But not always.

I still cry when I heard the voice of Martin Luther King, Jr. preaching, especially the "I Have a Dream" sermon. For years, I had the text of this sermon posted on my refrigerator (although lately children's art work has crowded it out). I think of how the Civil Rights movement to contributes to the lexicon of our society, our politics, our court decisions, our lives. Musical artists I love, most notably U2, have used the Civil Rights Movement as inspiration for lyrics. For me, it is living, breathing stuff. And I was not alive during the movement. I was born in 1971.

So I was shocked to learn that for these kids, it is just a chapter in history. As I think about the timing, I guess they are chronologically about as far away from the Civil Rights movement as I am from the Second World War. And that war always seemed like history that happened well before my time.

I am recovering from my shock, now that it has been a few days. And I am trying to convince myself that this has an upside. After all, the idea that segregation and racism are not a divisive, hate inspiring issue is progress. I remember as a child a local African American broadcaster giving an editorial and making the claim that once color is no longer an issue, and no longer in need of conversation and court decisions, we will have finally made it to the Promise Land. But we're not there yet, by any stretch of the imagination. I witness too many instances of racism to think otherwise. Honestly, I am hoping that by the time I am a grandmother we may be there. Time will tell.

Motherhood and Ministry

I have not been blogging as actively, as you may have noticed. I do go through weeks where blogging once per week is about all I get to. This most recent stint has been due to pastoral care emergencies/ tragedies/crises. I have not spent this many concentrated hours in tears and prayer for such circumstances in a long time- perhaps ever.

Last night, I was at the hospital with a family and a friend of a woman who had nearly succeeded in her suicide attempt. After I got home around 11:15, I sat on the sofa with munchies watching TV, winding down. I did not get to sleep until after midnight. After a somewhat sleepless, allergy filled night, I awoke this morning to several hours of catching up on email work. By lunchtime, I was tired!

So, I treated myself to a nap. I got into bed and slept for two hours. It was heavenly.

God bless my children- they just want to be around me. My oldest is able to contain herself when she knows that I am asleep. Not so for my son. The minute Ray got on the telephone, he took advantage of his opportunity. He dashed into the bedroom...and began throwing up on me. Apparently, his mad dashing caused him to choke on a wheat thin. He flung open the door, ran over to me, and began wretching. Poor guy. He was sobbing. My sheets needed washing. I needed washing. He only needed a new shirt. Neat little guy he is.

So off we went to the bathroom. I just got into the tub because that was about all I had in me. Ray came in, fresh off the telephone, to report another tragedy. Yet as we sat there, in the bathtub, with me covered in regurgitated wheat thins, and my son in my lap, all I could do was laugh! God works in mysterious ways.

Motorcycle Tractor...

There is an epidemic in Cecil County- of children riding four wheeled vehicles, without helmets, up and down our streets. Ever since we moved here, when Shannon was 15 months old, I would say to her as one rode past "you're never going to ride one of those." I now say it to both of them.

Kids in elementary and middle school ride these, without helmets, and without regard for traffic on the street. Several months ago, I watched a 9 year old boy (no helmet) come around the corner of his yard so fast, he went up on two wheels. I thought we were all about to witness his death. Turns out he rides like this all the time.

So you can imagine my inner joy when she began a sentence last week by saying "Mom, you know those things I'm never going to ride?" (She has now taken to calling them "motorcycle tractors") She then talked about how dangerous they are for kids, and how kids don't even wear helmets.

I am so enjoying this part of parenting where everything I say is taken to heart without resistance. How long does this last?

Honestly, I just can't understand why parents let their kids ride such things. Look at this kid in the picture... can she even ride a two wheeler?

Fisher Price and other toy companies sell these things! Ugh.

I was browsing the Internet and read again about how dangerous they are. "Currently, riders under the age of sixteen make up 33 percent of ATV deaths, according to the Consumer Products Safety Commission (CPSC)" reads one article. The American Academy of Pediatrics officially recommends that children under 16 be prohibited from riding them. Between 1997 and 2001, in just two states, NC and PA, 70 children under 16 were killed. Apparently, helmets offer less than usual protection for these type of accidents, because very often the ATVs flip on top of persons, crushing them.

I'm trying to imagine being at the funeral for my own child, crushed by an ATV. The thought of my own child's funeral is horrible enough, but to think that I had in any way contributed to their death by failing to protect them would be perhaps more than I could bear.

I don't think of myself as terribly overprotective. I know life is full of risks, and that I cannot protect my children from everything. They need to learn how to live in this risk filled world. But there is a line between allowing them to explore the world with some measure of safety, and allowing them to take unnecessary risks.

I'm off...

It is an absolutely beautiful spring day here in Maryland. What a gift that I am leaving for the beach this afternoon, to spend an evening with some church staff. Tomorrow, we have big plans to sit on the beach and do worship planning. How better to plan worship than to glory in God's creation as we prepare? (And perhaps how thoroughly distracting- but it sure sounds great, doesn't it?)

Then it is time for Annual Conference at the University of Maryland Eastern Shore (no beach there, unfortunately). Every June, pastors and other church folks from every church in our geographic region (Conference) get together for worship, ministry reporting, planning, and voting. This year has an added once in four years bonus- we will be voting for our delegates to General and Jurisdictional Conferences. General Conference is the international body that sets all of our "laws" and social stances, meeting in 2008 in Texas this time. Jurisdictional Conference is where Bishops are elected. All of the women Bishops in our Northeastern Jurisdiction (Maryland to New England) will be retiring this year; it will be a pivotal Conference. But then I guess they all are.

I'm really praying that Conference will be a blessing, and truly a time of "Holy Conferencing" as we Methodists like to talk about it.

Until next week....

Plan B

No matter how much I work on my sermon during the week, I always finish it near the last minute. As I am finishing my sermon on Saturday night, I have come to some conclusions.

1. On Friday, as I was choosing to do other tasks instead of finishing my sermon, I became aware of one of my subconscious thoughts. "I know if I put off my sermon, it will still get done." So I think that my putting off finishing until the last minute is something of a warped attempt to put hours into the week!

2. I have decided to try, try, try to accept the reality that this seems to be part of my creative process. As I let it percolate all week, its brewing. It would seem that I need the time to let it simmer until it is forced out of me by a deadline. I am trying very hard to love this side of my creative process, but truth be told, I loathe it. Why, O why, is this process so impervious to my attempts to finish sooner?

3. I am so grateful to work with folks who are as comfortable as I am with last minute preparations. I am surrounded by such folks. Thanks be to God. As I was going over tech details with the tech lead for Jacob's Well tomorrow (that would be about 13 hours from now) she asked me about plan B if plan A for getting her the file via a two person delivery process doesn't flow. I told her I have a back up file here at the house, and my husband will bring it in the morning. Then she pointed out that plan B is usually me filling in, in some completely unplanned way, and we had a good laugh. I thought about the Sunday several months ago where I arrived to Jacob's Well to find the power in all of the Chesapeake City area was out. God took care of things just fine. I even received a note from someone who said how blessed they had been by that service in the dark with acoustic music and no visuals. God has such a sense of humor.

So here's to plan B. As I preach on Trinity Sunday, I do with the deep suspicion that the Holy Spirit is more about plan B than plan A anyway.

Turn of Phrase

I read a blog post last week (by "gord") reflecting upon Pentecost and language. In it, he noted that language is always evolving and changing.

I notice this particularly in my favorite kind of colloquialisms- the kind my father uses. He uses expressions like:
I haven't seen one of those in a month of Sundays!
Tube steaks and whistle berries (referring to hot dogs and baked beans)
Take the old shoe leather express
Close only counts in horse shoes and hand grenades
Seeing through rose colored glasses
You let the cat out of the bag!
Strike while the iron is hot
Happier than a pig in mud
Take 40 winks
Uglier than a mud fence
The elevator doesn't go all the way to top
A few sandwiches short of a picnic
Dead as a door nail
There's more than one way to skin a cat
It seems to me that these sorts of expressions are a dying art, which makes me cherish them.

I have also been thinking about the power to remember great one liners. I would really like to add to my lexicon several great theological colloquialisms. I think pastors who are especially gifted at championing vision and mission in a local church tend to have this skill down. They have a set of phrases that repeatedly and effectively express fundamental truths.

So, I am compiling a list of great one-liners that I want to use often. Here goes:
1. God does not call the qualified. God qualifies the called.
2. There is no such thing as a perfect church...b/c churches are full of imperfect people
3. God did not create emotions so we can pretend like we don't have them. (I think that is my only original composition)
4. Grace received and not passed on loses its power (that's John Wesley, except he says "efficacy" instead of power)
5. Our fundamental Christian identity is "I am a baptized child of God"
6. The role of the pastor and leaders is to "equip the saints for the works of ministry" (Eph.4:12)
7. "My grace is sufficient for you, for power is made perfect in weakness" (2Cor.12:9)
8. There can be no resurrection without death

That is my starting point. I would be interested to hear from others about favorite phrases that encapsulate Christian belief/doctrine/practice into a phrase that's easily heard and understood.