Motorcycle Tractor...

There is an epidemic in Cecil County- of children riding four wheeled vehicles, without helmets, up and down our streets. Ever since we moved here, when Shannon was 15 months old, I would say to her as one rode past "you're never going to ride one of those." I now say it to both of them.

Kids in elementary and middle school ride these, without helmets, and without regard for traffic on the street. Several months ago, I watched a 9 year old boy (no helmet) come around the corner of his yard so fast, he went up on two wheels. I thought we were all about to witness his death. Turns out he rides like this all the time.

So you can imagine my inner joy when she began a sentence last week by saying "Mom, you know those things I'm never going to ride?" (She has now taken to calling them "motorcycle tractors") She then talked about how dangerous they are for kids, and how kids don't even wear helmets.

I am so enjoying this part of parenting where everything I say is taken to heart without resistance. How long does this last?

Honestly, I just can't understand why parents let their kids ride such things. Look at this kid in the picture... can she even ride a two wheeler?

Fisher Price and other toy companies sell these things! Ugh.

I was browsing the Internet and read again about how dangerous they are. "Currently, riders under the age of sixteen make up 33 percent of ATV deaths, according to the Consumer Products Safety Commission (CPSC)" reads one article. The American Academy of Pediatrics officially recommends that children under 16 be prohibited from riding them. Between 1997 and 2001, in just two states, NC and PA, 70 children under 16 were killed. Apparently, helmets offer less than usual protection for these type of accidents, because very often the ATVs flip on top of persons, crushing them.

I'm trying to imagine being at the funeral for my own child, crushed by an ATV. The thought of my own child's funeral is horrible enough, but to think that I had in any way contributed to their death by failing to protect them would be perhaps more than I could bear.

I don't think of myself as terribly overprotective. I know life is full of risks, and that I cannot protect my children from everything. They need to learn how to live in this risk filled world. But there is a line between allowing them to explore the world with some measure of safety, and allowing them to take unnecessary risks.

I'm off...

It is an absolutely beautiful spring day here in Maryland. What a gift that I am leaving for the beach this afternoon, to spend an evening with some church staff. Tomorrow, we have big plans to sit on the beach and do worship planning. How better to plan worship than to glory in God's creation as we prepare? (And perhaps how thoroughly distracting- but it sure sounds great, doesn't it?)

Then it is time for Annual Conference at the University of Maryland Eastern Shore (no beach there, unfortunately). Every June, pastors and other church folks from every church in our geographic region (Conference) get together for worship, ministry reporting, planning, and voting. This year has an added once in four years bonus- we will be voting for our delegates to General and Jurisdictional Conferences. General Conference is the international body that sets all of our "laws" and social stances, meeting in 2008 in Texas this time. Jurisdictional Conference is where Bishops are elected. All of the women Bishops in our Northeastern Jurisdiction (Maryland to New England) will be retiring this year; it will be a pivotal Conference. But then I guess they all are.

I'm really praying that Conference will be a blessing, and truly a time of "Holy Conferencing" as we Methodists like to talk about it.

Until next week....

Plan B

No matter how much I work on my sermon during the week, I always finish it near the last minute. As I am finishing my sermon on Saturday night, I have come to some conclusions.

1. On Friday, as I was choosing to do other tasks instead of finishing my sermon, I became aware of one of my subconscious thoughts. "I know if I put off my sermon, it will still get done." So I think that my putting off finishing until the last minute is something of a warped attempt to put hours into the week!

2. I have decided to try, try, try to accept the reality that this seems to be part of my creative process. As I let it percolate all week, its brewing. It would seem that I need the time to let it simmer until it is forced out of me by a deadline. I am trying very hard to love this side of my creative process, but truth be told, I loathe it. Why, O why, is this process so impervious to my attempts to finish sooner?

3. I am so grateful to work with folks who are as comfortable as I am with last minute preparations. I am surrounded by such folks. Thanks be to God. As I was going over tech details with the tech lead for Jacob's Well tomorrow (that would be about 13 hours from now) she asked me about plan B if plan A for getting her the file via a two person delivery process doesn't flow. I told her I have a back up file here at the house, and my husband will bring it in the morning. Then she pointed out that plan B is usually me filling in, in some completely unplanned way, and we had a good laugh. I thought about the Sunday several months ago where I arrived to Jacob's Well to find the power in all of the Chesapeake City area was out. God took care of things just fine. I even received a note from someone who said how blessed they had been by that service in the dark with acoustic music and no visuals. God has such a sense of humor.

So here's to plan B. As I preach on Trinity Sunday, I do with the deep suspicion that the Holy Spirit is more about plan B than plan A anyway.

Turn of Phrase

I read a blog post last week (by "gord") reflecting upon Pentecost and language. In it, he noted that language is always evolving and changing.

I notice this particularly in my favorite kind of colloquialisms- the kind my father uses. He uses expressions like:
I haven't seen one of those in a month of Sundays!
Tube steaks and whistle berries (referring to hot dogs and baked beans)
Take the old shoe leather express
Close only counts in horse shoes and hand grenades
Seeing through rose colored glasses
You let the cat out of the bag!
Strike while the iron is hot
Happier than a pig in mud
Take 40 winks
Uglier than a mud fence
The elevator doesn't go all the way to top
A few sandwiches short of a picnic
Dead as a door nail
There's more than one way to skin a cat
It seems to me that these sorts of expressions are a dying art, which makes me cherish them.

I have also been thinking about the power to remember great one liners. I would really like to add to my lexicon several great theological colloquialisms. I think pastors who are especially gifted at championing vision and mission in a local church tend to have this skill down. They have a set of phrases that repeatedly and effectively express fundamental truths.

So, I am compiling a list of great one-liners that I want to use often. Here goes:
1. God does not call the qualified. God qualifies the called.
2. There is no such thing as a perfect church...b/c churches are full of imperfect people
3. God did not create emotions so we can pretend like we don't have them. (I think that is my only original composition)
4. Grace received and not passed on loses its power (that's John Wesley, except he says "efficacy" instead of power)
5. Our fundamental Christian identity is "I am a baptized child of God"
6. The role of the pastor and leaders is to "equip the saints for the works of ministry" (Eph.4:12)
7. "My grace is sufficient for you, for power is made perfect in weakness" (2Cor.12:9)
8. There can be no resurrection without death

That is my starting point. I would be interested to hear from others about favorite phrases that encapsulate Christian belief/doctrine/practice into a phrase that's easily heard and understood.

Mommy, I am glad you're a pastor

My five year old daughter Shannon has taken to going with me to all three churches on Sunday morning. We have good Mommy-Shannon time, and she enjoys being with all the different folks. Most importantly, she enjoys the donuts, in duplicate or triplicate depending upon the day.

As we were leaving service #2 this past week, Shannon was asking me again about calling. She asked me if being a pastor is what God told me to do. I said (again) that this is what God has called me to do. Then she asked if I had to decide also. I told her yes, figuring out the path God wants for your life also means deciding to follow the path. I told her it's a process called "discernment" when a person tries to figure out what God wants them to do with their life, and then doing it.

As we got to the car she said "Mommy, I am glad you're a pastor." These words have been ringing in my heart ever since.

I asked her "because it's fun?" Shannon replied, "yes, it's fun. I think I want to be a pastor too."

This from the girl who last week asked me why I couldn't just stay home and please stop working.

I think most (perhaps all) pastors have a special anxiety about raising kids in the context of the local church. Pastor's Kids (PKs) are renowned throughout the generations for being rebellious, poorly adjusted kids who wither in the spotlight that is their life. Ok, this is a slight exaggeration. But the spotlight part does cause anxiety.

I was talking with a PK who is now a pastor around a dinner table a few weeks ago, and someone asked her for advice about raising children in the church. Her reply was that her parents rule was that church folks were not allowed to expect anything of the pastor's children that they would not expect of their own children. I think that is great advice, and I am planning to tuck it away for future teenage year use.

For now, I am basking in the fact that my daughter enjoys having a pastor for a mommy.

Chivalry

For some reason, I have been thinking about having doors opened for me. Every so often, I find myself in an awkward situation.

In some cases, I am opening a door for a man and he is completely thrown off by my actions. I don't think about the "rules of chivalry" calling for the opposite unless the man is clearly feeling awkward. Otherwise, I just don't think about who opens a door for whom. I guess in my subconscious it's just the person with the easiest access to the door who opens it, and doors are only opened for others when it makes logistical sense. Otherwise, I think I operate under the assumption that everyone opens their own doors. Nor do I give much conscious thought to which gender proceeds through a doorway first. Again, it's a matter of happenstance and logistics.

I hold doors for folks behind me, and expect likewise, regardless of gender, if the distance between me and the other person would mean that someone would have a door closing in their face if it were not being held.

In other cases, I find myself feeling awkward when a stranger, or someone I have perhaps just been introduced to, opens a door for me. I do project onto these folks a sense of distance and condescension. This is not because I consciously believe that is what is intended. I am just so accustomed to doing my own thing, and I guess somewhere along the way, I have internalized a message that men holding doors for women is rooted in the belief that women need such assistance.

The exception to all of this is that my husband holds doors for me, especially if we are out by ourselves on anything resembling a date. I have to think hard about it, but I am pretty sure my father holds doors for me too.

So here is my conclusion: I am uncomfortable with people holding doors for me unless the person is my husband or father. I think this is mostly because this is what I am used to, and so now, holding a door open feels to me like an intimate action.

Otherwise, I don't want doors opened or held for me unless it would be rude not to hold the door. I don't like anyone else going out of their way to open a door for me- it just doesn't feel right.

I have never had conscious thought about this until recently, and I can't even remember what sparked this. It's not that I have consciously made decisions based on "women's lib" conversations that pre-date me. I think it's just the sense I developed without giving it much thought (until now).

I wonder what the rest of the world thinks about such things (or if it is worth any brain power at all!)

Family

Sometimes, I just sit back and feel amazed at the people God sends to be a part of the community of faith I am blessed to serve as pastor. So many fabulous, faithful, loving people. It is so awesome to be a part of community that feels to me to be getting stronger and tighter with each passing month.

Case in point: I received an email from a member of our community who also teaches at our Preschool. Her son goes to the nearby Middle School and requires transportation to attend this school, because it is outside of his home district.

Our youth director picked him up from school and brought him to church to be helpful to the mom. As they were driving home, the mom commented to her son "that I felt really blessed to have people that are so generous with their time and energy that benefits me."

The son replied "You mean our church family?"

Mom's comment was "yeah, I guess that sounds kind of hokey, doesn't it?"

And the son said, "well, they certainly do ACT like family"

The mom told me it made her smile. It made me smile too.

I am preparing to preach on Acts 2 this Sunday. It is Pentecost Sunday and it is time to hear the story of the Holy Spirit forming the early believers into the early church. The book of Acts has community that acts like family as a central theme. As one of my friends recently commented this book in the Bible is titled "Acts of the Apostles" but it would be more appropriate to title it "Acts of the Holy Spirit."

How true.

Laughter

Tuesdays are always a difficult. I generally rest well on Mondays, and put off most/all thoughts of "work" on that day. I am trying to live into Sabbath, trusting God in meaningful ways.

But Tuesday, my thoughts turn to my unending to do list. As I said, I am still living into Sabbath. One of the things I am still trying to do is keep from being a work-a-holic the rest of the week. After all, I'm not really trusting God if I only trust for one day, and then work the rest of the week like everything is up to me. Clearly, it is not!

At the conference in Indianapolis last week, one pastor had reflected, "like the poor, to do lists are always with us." Yesterday felt especially draining. I went home at 4:30 to spend time with my family because I was out of energy and had a 6:30 meeting. As I sat in my chair at 6:10, I found myself wondering if I was getting sick. That set off a new stream of thought and mild anxiety about my to do list.

But then we had our meeting. It happened to be a Jacob' s Well leadership team meeting. We laughed- a lot. As we discussed the items on our agenda, laughter seemed to fill us at every turn.

By the time the meeting was over, my headache was gone, and the weight of exhaustion had lifted. What a gift.

Journey

I had an interesting conversation about "journey" language. Two clergy colleagues were talking about why they dislike this language. One simply because he abhors buzz words, a trait he inherited from his mother. She ranted one day that everywhere she goes, she is told she on a journey... in her faith, in her job, at Weight Watchers, everywhere. "I have a life, not a journey!"

I have always thought of journey language as a great way to describe the spiritual life because it puts emphasis on the present moment, and the process, rather than upon arriving somewhere. When I say the life of faith is a journey, I mean that I expect it will always be a journey with Christ.

The other person in the conversation interprets journey language in the opposite way- since a journey implies a destination, she hears it as implying that right now is not so important and arriving somewhere else is what life is all about....which is of course not what the life of faith is all about. And I agree.

Interesting how we both largely agree that emphasizing arriving somewhere else devalues the spiritual life... and yet use different language to emphasize this. Language is such tricky and important stuff.

We also realized that part of our difference does stem from our different faith traditions. Her Lutheran tradition emphasizes justifying grace- the grace that brings us to faith in Christ. My Wesleyan/Methodist heritage emphasizes sanctifying grace as much or more than justifying grace.

In fact, the emphasis on sanctifying grace, also known as Christian Perfection, is one of the significant contributions of Methodism to the Christian conversation. This is the doctrine that teaches that it as least possible for God to so sanctify a disciple so that the disciple becomes able to love as Christ loves...to be made perfect in love.

One of the questions asked of me when I was ordained was "do you believe that you are going onto perfection?" and my reply was "by the grace of God, I do so believe."

So even though I am loathe to devalue the present moment, for that is the only moment in which God is present to me right now, I do have a sense of growing and changing along the way. I do earnestly look forward to being more like Christ, and try to match my will to God's through spiritual practices.

I would never want to devalue the present for a "grass is always greener" mentality that is so much a part of the consumerist culture.

Yet for me, journey language accomplishes both the task of communicating that life is a daily experience to cherish and a process of growing and changing along the way.

Friends

I have been in Indianapolis, IN for four days this week. I was at a young clergy conference that actually made me feel a bit old. At 35, I was one of the eldest in attendance, and I knew only two people upon arriving. Interesting experience. It was instructive to remember what it is like to be in a community in which I am not an insider who knows everyone.

I thought a lot about relationships, friendships, colleagues, etc. One of foundational assumptions of the group is that clergy need to establish healthful, supportive groups of folks beyond the local church. I'm told this makes a huge difference in the health and effectiveness of clergy.

I spent time agonizing over whether I have enough friends, and whether there is something wrong with me that my friends always seem to come in seasons. I don't maintain friendships that last from high school or college (despite my efforts in the past). I have one friend I try keep in contact with from Seminary. We have good years and bad years. After two years of gathering with a cohort of clergy in the Lewis Fellowship (which is why I was at this most recent conference- as a followup to that program) I don't know how many of these relationships will last for the long term either. We are all over the country.

I discovered that I was being rather closed to the experience of meeting folks at this conference because I doubt whether it's worth the effort.

Then, at closing worship, I realized something really important. I am not trusting God enough to provide for my relational needs. If I need friends beyond the local church in order to be effective in the local church, then surely God will (continue to) provide such relationships! This seems really obvious to write, but it was hugely empowering to recognize. So, hopefully, I can stop grieving my apparent inability to maintain friendships over years and distances, and start looking for how God is working in my life and friendships now.