Good Sharer

After I got married and before we had children, I used to joke that I hoped to have boys. My reason for this is that I wanted boys like their father. I used to say "I want to contribute to the supply of emotionally well adjusted men- there's a shortage."

Of course, once I became pregnant, I didn't care either way. Our first child is a girl (Shannon) and our second a boy (Jacob). They are both sweet, precious children, as I regularly tell them. They each have their own gifts and personality. And my son is so very much like his father. In his five years on this earth, I have never seen him refuse to share, especially with his sister. He is also thoughtful. If Jacob goes to the bank or anywhere there is free candy and Shannon is not there, he always asks if he can have one for his sister too. Then he takes it home to her. No matter who he is playing with or what he is eating, of someone asks for it, he shares it. Conversely, little else upsets him as much as when he feels denied a turn or if someone refuses to share with him.

Several weeks ago, he came home from school hungry. This is a regular occurrence because, he says, he is too busy talking to his friends to eat. He packs up what remains, brings it home, and finishes it here. So when he asked for a granola bar, I said "didn't you eat one in your lunch?" I could have sworn I packed him one. He replied "no." Then he modified his answer and said "well, actually, there was some confusion at lunch. Lee and I weren't sure if the bar came out of my lunch bag or hers, so Lee ate it."

I smiled. Of course Lee ate it. Because if Lee wanted it, then he would give it to her. That's his first instinct.

I feel like Jacob's generous heart is a gift from God. He regularly reminds me that it is truly more blessed to give than to receive. Sometimes I am simply awed by how God's grace is shown to me in the faces of my children.

A Beautiful Day

I was sitting in our staff meeting this morning, looking at the beautiful fall colors appearing outside my window, noticing the gently swaying tree limbs in the autumn wind. I had a strong desire to be outside, walking around.

As soon as the meeting was over, I went out for a walk. I was entirely enchanted with Chesapeake City. I try not to shop unless I need things (too tempting to buy things that I do not need), but since I was without my wallet, it was fairly safe. I browsed through several gift shops. I went into Vulcan's Rest, where people can learn to knit, crotchet, weave, make baskets, quilt, and do other things I have never heard of. I thought to myself how many people have such an amazing store like this in walking distance? Here I serve in this beautiful little town, full of lovely shops, restaurants, B&Bs, that is all on the water...and how often do I get out and just enjoy it?

As I walked around town, I thought about how much I am enjoying life (especially since I have given up feeling overwhelmed!) and how I really should just enjoy every day more. Then I went to lunch with six other people from church and had a lovely time.

Then, I started feeling guilty. Shouldn't I be concerned about feeling complacent and comfortable? Shouldn't I feel a sense of urgency? Shouldn't I be suffering for the sake of the gospel?

And I wonder why it is so difficult to just enjoy the life God has given me.

So, perhaps I need to add "give up feeling guilty for enjoying myself" to my list of things to give up...