Good Sharer

After I got married and before we had children, I used to joke that I hoped to have boys. My reason for this is that I wanted boys like their father. I used to say "I want to contribute to the supply of emotionally well adjusted men- there's a shortage."

Of course, once I became pregnant, I didn't care either way. Our first child is a girl (Shannon) and our second a boy (Jacob). They are both sweet, precious children, as I regularly tell them. They each have their own gifts and personality. And my son is so very much like his father. In his five years on this earth, I have never seen him refuse to share, especially with his sister. He is also thoughtful. If Jacob goes to the bank or anywhere there is free candy and Shannon is not there, he always asks if he can have one for his sister too. Then he takes it home to her. No matter who he is playing with or what he is eating, of someone asks for it, he shares it. Conversely, little else upsets him as much as when he feels denied a turn or if someone refuses to share with him.

Several weeks ago, he came home from school hungry. This is a regular occurrence because, he says, he is too busy talking to his friends to eat. He packs up what remains, brings it home, and finishes it here. So when he asked for a granola bar, I said "didn't you eat one in your lunch?" I could have sworn I packed him one. He replied "no." Then he modified his answer and said "well, actually, there was some confusion at lunch. Lee and I weren't sure if the bar came out of my lunch bag or hers, so Lee ate it."

I smiled. Of course Lee ate it. Because if Lee wanted it, then he would give it to her. That's his first instinct.

I feel like Jacob's generous heart is a gift from God. He regularly reminds me that it is truly more blessed to give than to receive. Sometimes I am simply awed by how God's grace is shown to me in the faces of my children.

Mommy, I am glad you're a pastor

My five year old daughter Shannon has taken to going with me to all three churches on Sunday morning. We have good Mommy-Shannon time, and she enjoys being with all the different folks. Most importantly, she enjoys the donuts, in duplicate or triplicate depending upon the day.

As we were leaving service #2 this past week, Shannon was asking me again about calling. She asked me if being a pastor is what God told me to do. I said (again) that this is what God has called me to do. Then she asked if I had to decide also. I told her yes, figuring out the path God wants for your life also means deciding to follow the path. I told her it's a process called "discernment" when a person tries to figure out what God wants them to do with their life, and then doing it.

As we got to the car she said "Mommy, I am glad you're a pastor." These words have been ringing in my heart ever since.

I asked her "because it's fun?" Shannon replied, "yes, it's fun. I think I want to be a pastor too."

This from the girl who last week asked me why I couldn't just stay home and please stop working.

I think most (perhaps all) pastors have a special anxiety about raising kids in the context of the local church. Pastor's Kids (PKs) are renowned throughout the generations for being rebellious, poorly adjusted kids who wither in the spotlight that is their life. Ok, this is a slight exaggeration. But the spotlight part does cause anxiety.

I was talking with a PK who is now a pastor around a dinner table a few weeks ago, and someone asked her for advice about raising children in the church. Her reply was that her parents rule was that church folks were not allowed to expect anything of the pastor's children that they would not expect of their own children. I think that is great advice, and I am planning to tuck it away for future teenage year use.

For now, I am basking in the fact that my daughter enjoys having a pastor for a mommy.