Wednesday, May 31, 2006

Prayer and Binkys

My daughter just prayed her first spontaneous, independent prayer tonight. Shannon said to me, "Ok Mommy. Repeat after me. Dear..." and I said "dear" she said "God"...and I said "God" "please"..."please"... "help"..."help"... "me"..."me"
"Not to think about my binkys...
And help me not to be sad
Even though it's ok to be sad
Help me not to think about them."

And I repeated it after her. Just like we do with the Lord's Prayer and Apostle's Creed every night.

She is four. She has been completely without them for about six months. For about a year before that, she was down to just sleeping time. And she still occasionally cries about them. It was her idea to give them up. We had told her that she would give them up when she turned four, which was April 30.

But when she was 3 1/2 she decided she was a big enough girl to go ahead and give them up. It was her second major decision in life (first was using the potty). And she has regretted giving them up ever since.

On the day before her fourth birthday, she cried that she wished she had kept her binkys until that day. She has cried for them about once per week since. Last week, she told my husband Ray, between sobs, that the reason she is so sad is because she knows they are never coming back.

It has been heartbreaking, heartwarming, and funny all at the same time to live through this drama.

Tonight, her prayer gave me hope.

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